Padfoot & Prongs
by thequeergiraffe
Summary: Sirius and James have been best friends for years, but as they grow older Sirius finds himself doing something he can't explain, and getting himself into a mess with a longtime enemy. Rated M for smut and slash in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: obviously I am not J.K. Rowling, and though I'm using her characters and settings without express permission, I'd like to think she appreciates her little army of fic writers, even when we make all of her great characters screw CONSTANTLY. Ahem. I am not writing for profit. Please don't sue me.**

**This story is MWPP-era, should be canon (please let me know if it isn't), and is set in the boys' sixth year. Contains some smut, some slash, all that good stuff. Now, without further delay, I give you…**

**Padfoot & Prongs**

To Sirius Black, there was no one in the world quite like James Potter.

He remembered sharing a compartment with him on that first ride on the Hogwarts Express, sharing Chocolate Frogs and laughing about everything and nothing. He remembered that great fear- like ice that wouldn't melt- sitting heavily in his stomach when they climbed into those little boats and sailed up to Hogwarts. Would he, a Black, be put in Slytherin as his parents had hoped? James had joined him in fervent muttering- to whom they were muttering, neither boy knew- as they waited to be let into the Great Hall: _Not Slytherin, not Slytherin, not Slytherin_. James wasn't worried for himself; he knew he'd be a Gryffindor as surely as he had known he'd go to Hogwarts. He muttered only for the sake of Sirius. And when the Hat cried out "Gryffindor!" from atop Sirius' head, James had let out a little cry of joy that made everyone at the Gryffindor table laugh. No one was surprised to see the Potter boy join the group, or to see him plop down heavily beside Sirius and sling an arm around his shoulders, crying, "I knew it, Sirius! I knew you were all right!" Sirius remember later that night, as a storm that had begun raging outside during supper howled and beat at the dormitory windows, how James had opened Sirius' curtains just an inch and whispered, "Sirius? Are you awake?" James hated storms back then, and he had never spent a night away from his parents before. Sirius didn't mind. He let James sit in the safety of his curtained four-poster bed and they talked heatedly about Quidditch until at some point they had both dozed off. And in the morning Sirius had woken to his curtains flinging open and James shouting, "Come on, Sirius, you act like you were up all night!"

Had it really been five years since then? Sirius rubbed his eyes and pulled the blankets close around him. It was late afternoon, so why had he been allowed to sleep in so late? His mother's voice was ringing out downstairs; no doubt she was bossing the house elf, not that Kreacher would mind in the least. Stupid beast. Sirius grinned to himself. Did any of it matter, though? Today was his last day at home until next summer. Tomorrow he'd be climbing aboard the Hogwarts Express once more, clapping his buddies Moony and Wormtail on the back…and most importantly of all, seeing James again. Sirius closed his eyes as tightly as possible. Maybe if he just went back to sleep, he could skip this day entirely and go straight on in to tomorrow.

Unfortunately that wasn't meant to be. Sirius was made to get up and wash, as his mother fussed over the state of his room and "those god-awful Gryffindor hangings you insist on putting everywhere". She picked out one of his nicer suits, lamenting over the broadness of his shoulders and the too-short hem of his pants. A private tailor was called in to let out his suit jacket and fit him a new pair of pants. And then Sirius was supervised as he packed, and lectured to by his father about the sort of company he kept and the reflection his choices had on the Black family. By the time it was all through it was time for dinner with some stuffy, pompous old man of "good, pure Wizarding stock" who bored him to tears with lectures about how things _should_ be run at Hogwarts and what he expected the trends at Gringotts meant and one thousand other terrible, yawn-inducing things that carried them well past dessert and into after-dinner tea. At long last, when the old man showed no sign of letting up and Sirius showed every sign of being bored to tears, his parents excused him from the table, insisting to their guest that he needed his rest for his trip to school the next day.

Sirius dashed upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. He flung open the door, flew to the desk and quickly jotted a short note to James about his idiotic dinner guest, hoping for a laugh. _I can't wait to see you,_ he added at the bottom, and he admired his careful scrawl for a moment before rolling the note up and tying it to the foot of his waiting owl (who didn't seem keen on the idea of going out so late, and with such an early morning). He let the owl out and sat down on the foot of his bed, staring out the window. He hated Grimmauld Place. It wasn't home to him. Tomorrow, however, he'd be going home at last. He could barely stand the wait.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius strode happily through the walled entrance at Platform 9 and ¾, his eyes hunting the thick crowd for his friends. "Oh," he shouted gleefully, "there's Moony!" His mother gave him a cross look, but he simply tossed her a wave and a, "See ya next summer!" and ran off to join his friend, pulling his enormous trunk behind him.

Remus Lupin was standing alone, one small trunk propped up next to him, leaning against a column with a tired look on his young face. Sirius felt slightly ashamed of himself that he hadn't considered the moon cycle; he could tell now that it must have been a full moon just a night or two before. Patting his friend on the shoulder, Sirius eyed him warily.

"All right, Moony?"

Lupin shrugged. "Been better." His under-eyes were a sad and sunken midnight blue. Dropping his voice, he added, "Full moon last night, you know."

Sirius nodded. "Seen James? Or Wormy?"

"Wormtail was talking to his mum a minute ago," Remus yawned. "And I've not seen James. No doubt he's gotten into some kind of trouble, the scamp." With these last words he smiled feebly.

"Hmm." Sirius continue eyeing the crowd. A flash of red hair told him where Lily Evans was…and there, talking to her animatedly, was James. The poor girl couldn't look more disinterested if she tried, yet James prattled on, mussing his hair and flashing a smile every few seconds. Sirius laughed and shook his head. "Wait here a minute, Remus. I'm going to go save James."

Pushing his way through the crowd, he found the pair and heard James explaining: "-and well, being a Seeker takes such concentration, you know, I mean Keepers can have lucky saves, and Beaters are basically just brutes with bats, but-"

"Oh, James, there you are!" Sirius gave his friend a side-hug and pushed in, throwing Lily a warm smile. "Why, Lily, you get prettier each year. Was my prat of a friend giving you trouble?"

Lily's eyes were dancing wickedly. "Oh, he was only boring me mindless. No big deal. And how are you, Sirius? I keep hoping you'll ask me to Hogsmeade one weekend." She blinked at him endearingly, her voice teasing.

"And I keep hoping a draft will catch your skirt one day in the hall. Alas!" It had always struck Sirius as amusing, how easy it was to get Lily to flirt with him. And how, for all of poor James' trying, he never could.

"Well, anyway," James butted in, mussing his hair again, "as I was saying-"

"Oh, don't start that again!" Lily laughed and touched Sirius' shoulder. "You _must_ help him get better with girls, love. I've heard you're the authority. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a train to catch." She flounced away, her pretty hair dancing across her back.

James made a noise that was equal parts desire and frustration. "I couldn't help it!" he moaned, leaning on Sirius as the latter led him off towards Remus. "Every time I try to talk to her, my brain locks up and I start spouting about Quidditch!"

"Prongs, the hopeless romantic," Sirius sighed. "And I _do _mean hopeless."

They reached Remus, who had been joined by an anxious looking Peter. Sirius had to try not to laugh; Peter had gotten an awful haircut over the summer, and it stuck up like tiny spikes all over his head. He kept patting it nervously. Now united, the group grabbed their things and found an empty compartment on the now-whistling train.

* * *

><p>Remus leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. Flitting down beside him, Peter crossed both his arms and legs, looking cold and miserable. Across from Remus sat James, who was looking out the window- for Lily, no doubt- and beside him sat Sirius, his arm stretched over the back of the seat, a wide contented smile on his face. They all chatted about their summers (Remus has spent most of his summer reading at home, while James had gone on holiday, Peter had worked at his parents' shop, and Sirius had brooded at the Black family home and avoided conversation) and if they had gotten anything worth discussing from Diagon Alley (James had gotten a new broom for the school year, and Sirius had managed to sneak off to the joke shop for a moment, but the other two simply shrugged) before spending a few minutes of careful discussion on Lupin's affliction, and his most recent bout. At last the food cart came round, and James and Sirius treated themselves and the others to pumpkin juice and various candies.<p>

Sirius was tearing into a bag of Fizzing Whizbees when James stood and tapped the side of his pumpkin juice bottle. "Excuse me, gentlemen," he said grandly, and the others listened amusedly. "I'd like to welcome you all back to Hogwarts, and say how pleased I am with each of your progress." Sirius snorted, Remus rolled his eyes, and Peter gave a little quiver. James continued, his arms sweeping, "I'd also like to take this opportunity to begin our first Marauders' Meeting of the school year. All in favor?"

"Aye," came the resounding response. James smiled and sat down. "Gentlemen, we now enter our sixth year. Last year were the O.W.L.s, those difficult and time-consuming tests that kept us indoors when we should have been out. Next year, the dreaded N.E.W.T.s. I think you know what I'm getting at."

Remus lifted his eyebrow as he glanced up from a Chocolate Frog card. "We should study more?"

"Merlin, no, Remus!" James spluttered, and they all laughed. "What we should be doing," said James, in a tone that suggested they should all already know, "is having as much fun as possible in between testing years. We don't sit anything important this year! What that means for us, men, is that we should be chasing skirts and pulling tremendous pranks. This year, I think we should make names for ourselves."

Sirius cried, "Here, here!" but Remus simply frowned. "We're taking N.E.W.T. level classes now, James. We'll have homework on top of homework. Not to mention the few days a month that I've got to disappear…how are we going to have time to 'chase skirts', as you so crudely put it?" His frown deepened. "And aside from that, you know I don't...I mean to say, I can't-"

"Don't be so moody, Moony," James grinned. "Your furry little problem shouldn't keep you from enjoying life. When you need to disappear, tell your girl that you're tired of her. Then, in a few days, beg to have her back." James winked. "She'll love it; girls love mystery."

Sirius practically howled with laughter. "That explains a lot, Potter! No wonder you're not having any luck with Lily!" James scowled, but Remus chuckled and Peter gave an awkward giggle.

"You lot can laugh," James harrumphed, "but I think this may be the best idea I've ever had. So I propose- nay , I insist!- we make a pact. We each try to conquer as many girls as possible this year. We all pick a girl, and if you win her over, you pick another, and so on and so far. You have to specify the girl you're going for so we all don't wind up wasting our time on the same one. The winner gets…hmm. Ah! The winner gets to use my broomstick over the summer!" James beamed at them triumphantly.

"I could buy my own broomstick," Sirius said blandly. "But…sure, I'll take the bet. I call Lily Evans."

"No, no, that's against the rules! I didn't say you could pick yet!" James was practically hopping.

Remus was stifling laughter as Sirius feigned confusion. "You didn't list that in the rules."

"I wasn't done yet." James pulled himself up to his full height. "Because I don't really get to win anything, the broomstick in question being mine and all, I propose that I pick first."

"Fine," said Sirius valiantly.

"Then I pick Lily Evans."

Sirius rubbed his chin. "Well now you've picked the one I wanted, you might as well pick for me as well."

James considered for a moment. "All right. Evangeline Holly. She's fit, and she seems to like you so it's almost like I'm giving you an advantage."

"Deal."

"Okay, that's settled. Moony, who's it for you?"

Lupin leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "James, you know I don't care."

James huffed. "Fine, then Melanie Bogsworth for you. And Peter?"

The smallest of the group seemed to consider for a long time. At last he mumbled, "I suppose Kendra Whaley's all right?"

Immediately Sirius and James were singing, "Wormy's got a crush! Wormy's got a crush!" much to Wormtail's chagrin and Lupin's begrudged amusement. Sirius couldn't help but beam at his friends. This year was going to be fantastic, he just knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

The foursome glided into the Great Hall in a chattering, smiling group and moved to their usual spot near the end of the Gryffindor table. But to everyone's surprise, when James, Remus, and Peter took their seats, Sirius kept walking. He stopped just next to Evangeline Holly and cleared his throat.

Evangeline was truly a fit girl, with smooth black hair and large eyes that shone like opals. Her small cherry mouth was screwed up in a bemused frown. "Um, hullo Sirius."

"Evening, Evangeline," Sirius said with an incline of his head. He sat down on the bench beside her, his back against the table. "Do you fancy me at all?"

"Wh-what?" Evangeline stuttered, as the surrounding Gryffindors had a laugh.

Sirius smiled and gave her a look from under dark lashes. "I only asked if you fancied me. Because I heard you do, and I'd like to ask you out."

"O-oh, Sirius, I…" Evangeline's eyes were bigger than ever. "I have a boyfriend!"

"Do you?"

"Y-yes! Kevin Hartley, actually." She gestured to the fuming blonde boy sitting beside her, and Sirius stuck out his hand congenially, making the Gryffindors roar once again. Kevin merely stared, and so Sirius took his hand back and shrugged.

"Well, anyway," he said, rubbing his chin, "I figure, if you do fancy me, we could go to Hogsmeade together on the first weekend. Or," he gave her a mischevious wink, "we could stroll the grounds sometime just before curfew. I don't know what kind of girl you are…"

"That's enough!" Kevin was on his feet, his wand drawn.

"All right, mate, all right," said Sirius, standing, his hands outstretched apologetically. He made to walk away and stopped, looking back at Evangeline one more time. "Think about it, love?" he said with a tilt of his head, before turning again and walking back to his friends.

James was in tears, his face beet red. Peter, too, was laughing his nasally laugh, though he kept glancing at James as though waiting for the cue to stop. Even Remus was having a grin and shaking his head slowly.

"Sirius, you dog," he said, and it sent them all into a renewed peal of laughter.

When finally the laughter died down they noticed another laugh had joined theirs, this one cool and thick with sarcasm. They all looked up, bewildered.

Standing beside the table, his face screwed up in a parody of amusement, was Severus Snape, flanked by three smirking Death Eaters.

"What's so funny, Snivellus?" James postured at once, his hand moving down to his wand.

Snape looked positively delighted James had asked. "Oh, I was just having a laugh at the whole situation," Snape drawled, waving his hand from Sirius to Evangeline and back again. "I mean, honestly!" He clutched his side and laughed nastily again.

"Come off it," growled Sirius. "If you want to say something, say it. Don't be a coward."

Snape's eyes narrowed, and his laughter instantly stopped. "I only thought it was amusing, Sirius, that everyone buys this stupid act of yours. _Oh, Sirius, he's such a dog! Oh Sirius, he gets all the girls! _But I've got your number, Sirius Black. I've figured you out."

James laughed. "Blimey, Snivellus, could you at least try to hide your jealousy? Look, maybe if you changed those dingy bloomers once in awhile-"

Snape's wand was out, but as soon as he'd moved his hand the four Gryffindor boys had stood and drawn their wands as well. They all looked at each other heatedly. "I suggest you go to your own table now, Snivey, before you do something very stupid," James hissed.

"Get out of the way, Potter." Snape's eyes kept flitting to the teacher's table, where astoundingly no one had seemed to notice them yet.

James swore at him.

"All right, fine, protect your boyfriend!" Snape shouted. "I knew he loved you, Potter, but I didn't think you both were faggots."

The wands were instantly forgotten. Death Eaters and Gryffindors tangled together in one ugly, bloody Muggle fight. Sirius felt his fist connect with someone's nose in the same moment as someone's knobby knee connected to his groin. His vision swam and his fists flailed as strong hands grasped his shoulders and yanked him away.

* * *

><p>"Detentions for a month of Saturdays! How does this <em>always <em>happen to us?" James was draped across one the fat armchairs in the Gryffindor common room, where they had been immediately banished after the brawl. They had devoured a plate's worth of jelly sandwiches, reminiscing sadly with each bite about the amazing food being served at that very moment in the Great Hall.

"It could be our proclivity for violence," Remus mused thoughtfully, looking over the common room's chess set. "This set is missing a rook…"

Peter made a small noise. "We showed them though…we were winning…"

"Does it matter?" Sirius still felt full of rage. He hadn't touched the food they were given, nor had he sat down. Instead he paced the room, his hands clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. "I'd give anything to go down there and pummel Snivellus to bits."

"Calm down," said Lupin for the fourth time that night. Sirius continued to ignore him, only growling under his breath.

"No, I think Sirius is right." James sat up and made a face. "What was with all that, '_I've got your number, Sirius' _nonsense anyway?" With a snort he added, "He's jealous, like I said. I bet he's down there wanking right now, pretending to be Sirius."

Sirius gave a hollow laugh. His friend was just trying to make him feel better…but it only succeeded in making him feel worse. In frustration he kicked an armchair, his toe hitting sharply and making him swear. "That's it! I'm going to bed! There's no use pacing around the room and," he shot a glance at Remus, who wisely closed his mouth, "I am _not_ calming down." Sirius stormed upstairs, his heart racing, and changed into his nightclothes quickly.

It was a long time before sleep finally snuck over him. He dreamed he was in the Great Hall, the Sorting Hat atop his head.

_Your heart is brave_, said the Hat, _but your mind is foolish. You deny yourself…_

Snape was in the background, doubled over in laughter. He pointed at Sirius and cried, _You've always loved James best, you know! You joke with the girls but your heart's not in it! _

Sirius swung at him angrily, throwing the Hat from his head, but in that moment Snape turned into James, who looked at him pleadingly. _Sirius…wake up…Sirius…wake up…Sirius…_


	4. Chapter 4

"You were having a nightmare, you big lug," James said, rubbing his eyes. "You woke the whole damn room."

"…Sorry…" Sirius sat up and looked at the time. Four in the morning- there was still time to go back to sleep…but that dream, Snape's taunting face…

The next thing Sirius knew his alarm was ringing, and sunlight was streaming in through the small cracks in his bed's hangings. He yawned mightily and heaved himself out of bed.

* * *

><p>The first week of classes was a blur. Remus had been right; N.E.W.T. level classes were beyond time consuming, and it was all the group could do to keep up with their homework and keep their noses clean (James, after all, couldn't afford anymore detentions or he would lose his spot on the Quidditch team, and Remus loathed detention almost as much as he dreaded the full moon). The worst of it for Sirius was the classes they shared with Slytherin, all the snide little sniggering from Snape and his idiotic Death Eater cronies. He didn't dare confront Snape either, knowing that a fight would mean James and Lupin getting into even more trouble-something they both adamantly agreed they wanted to avoid for the time being. And so Sirius had to simply let Snape and his friends laugh at his expense.<p>

The evening of their detention all eight boys were taken to an old storage room and made to clear out an infestation of puffskeins, capturing the small puffy creatures and placing them in baskets (from which they'd often topple out and roll away, meaning they had to be found and captured again). They were gleefully supervised by the Hogwarts caretaker, Argus Filch, and his creepy cat Mrs. Norris. If any of them spoke, even if just to say "Oh!" upon discovering a humming puffskein in a forgotten box, they were soundly threatened with a menagerie of weapons and tools that all the boys knew Filch kept in his office. Sirius, at one point, fought his way behind a wardrobe, where he found Snape poking around in an old trunk. Snape only looked at him and smiled, but Sirius felt his blood boil. It was a lucky thing Filch had all their wands…

When detention was over Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all slunk back up to the common room, covered in dust and feeling that the last two hours had been utterly pointless. When Remus mentioned the pile of homework waiting for them, they all moaned.

"It can wait," James yawned.

"No, it really can't," Remus explained sadly. It seemed to Sirius that Remus hated being the voice of reason in the group, though the task suited him well. "After all, you've got Quidditch practice tomorrow. And we lot," he gestured to himself, Peter, and Sirius, "have important Marauder business to attend to."

"Oh, is that right? And I'm not in it, am I?" James replied indignantly; he had, after all, been the one to start the group.

"Nope." Remus laughed and clapped his back. "We're going to work on our girls tomorrow. Since your chances with Lily are hopeless, I figured it's best if we conspire when you're not around."

Sirius laughed. They had reached the Fat Lady, and Peter unhappily mumbled, "Hippogriff droppings," before the painting swung open and let them in.

At first Sirius didn't know why James had stopped, or why his eyes had glazed over…but then he followed his line of vision and saw Lily sitting at a table, scratching away at a bit of parchment. She was nibbling at her lower lip and flipping up one corner of a page in the book she was reading. It made Sirius angry that the sight of her with the fire behind her, her pretty hair all aglow and eyes twinkling, did nothing for him…and somehow angrier that it seemed to do everything for James. Remus put an arm around his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts, and muttered, "Come on, mate. Homework can wait after all." They slipped upstairs, unnoticed by James, and as they were closing their dormitory door they could hear him stammer, "W-well, Lily, how are you?"

* * *

><p>"Get up, come on." Rough hands pushed and tugged at Sirius, and his mind felt fuzzy. "Come on, Sirius, get up!"<p>

"Wha?"

"Sirius!" James was hissing, not even half an inch from his ear. "Get up!"

"I'm up, I'm up." Sirius yawned and turned to the clock. One in the morning. "What's wrong?"

"Come on." James was tossing clothes at him haphazardly, and a sock flopped on to his head and slumped over one eye.

"Is it Moony?" Sirius pictured Remus as a wolf, running wild in the night.

"What? No," James muttered, yanking Sirius from his bed. "Get dressed, I'll tell you on the way."

There was no using fighting James when he was like this, Sirius decided, and so he dressed himself hurriedly and allowed James to tug him down the stairs. In the common room James pulled the Invisibility Cloak over them, and Sirius followed his lead. James pulled out the Marauders' Map and solemnly swore he was up to no good before leading Sirius out into the hall and towards the secret exit that led to Hogsmeade. Once in the tunnel, James pulled off the Cloak and laid it down to be picked up on the way back into the castle.

"Can you tell me what this is all about now?" Sirius said, his senses starting to come back to him.

James wouldn't look at him. "I'll tell you later. It's nothing, Sirius," he said suddenly, turning to face his friend, "nothing dangerous, or anything like that. I just need a drink."

"James, The Three Broomsticks isn't going to be open this late. It's nearly two…"

"I know that." He pushed open the trapdoor above them and slipped out, reaching a hand down for Sirius.

Sirius took his hand and frowned, following in silence. They crept to the door, opening it carefully, and slipped out into the street.

"So, where are we headed then?"

"I noticed last year that the Hog's Head is open all night on Saturdays." James waved him on to the forgotten looking pub at the end of the road, and they pushed the door open with trepidation.

It was true, the Hog's Head was still open, and in fact it was much busier than either of them had ever seen it- though to be fair, it wasn't often they felt the need to set foot inside that particular establishment. James plopped down at the bar and motioned for Sirius to follow suit.

"Okay, this is mad," Sirius said at once, after James had ordered them each a firewhiskey.

James shook his head. "I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. Sirius! That girl is making me insane."

"Which girl?" said Sirius stupidly, and James gave him a look.

"_Lily._ You know, the one I've been crazy about for years? That gorgeous redheaded girl that won't give me the time of day?" He slammed back his shot and gestured for another. "You might remember her as the girl you flirt with mercilessly," James added accusingly.

"Oh. That one." Sirius sipped his whiskey, trying not to make a face. If he was honest, he'd never had much of a stomach for the stuff.

James saw him sipping and laughed. "Oh, come on! Your friend is in distress! This calls for sympathetic drunkenness. Now finish that so we can have another."

* * *

><p>Sirius had never been so drunk in his life. The world seemed to be playing a trick on him, moving under his feet every time he dared to take a step.<p>

"We must…get back…to the castle…" James breathed in his ear, his breath strong with spirits. Sirius was holding him just under the arm, half-carrying him to the Shrieking Shack. "Oh no! We're going the wrong way!"

Of course he was right. They had come out of the Three Broomsticks. Sirius swayed slightly as he turned in the right direction and plodded on. "James…we're much too drunk. We'll be very… noisy…"

His eyes were getting ever so slightly heavy. James was leaning his head on his shoulder, breathing deeply. Somehow Sirius managed to get them inside the quiet pub and down into the secret tunnel with only a minimum of noise. He scooped up the cloak and covered them both up as carefully as he could manage before slipping back into the castle. It hadn't even crossed his mind to consult the map; he had entirely forgotten it existed.

"Sirius, I need to use the bathroom."

"Shh." Sirius cast a nervous, crooked glance around the gently swaying hall. "You can go when we get back to the dorms."

"No…no…I need to go right now..."

"Dammit." Sirius pulled his useless friend along to the nearest bathroom, one frequented by Slytherins. This late at night, though, it seemed to be deserted. James leaned his face right up against the urinal wall and sighed pleasurably as he undid his pants and let loose a steady stream of urine. Sirius leaned against a sink, watching his own face dance in the mirror.

"Sirius?"

"Mmm."

"I…don't think…" There was a great crash, and Sirius turned- a bit too fast, his pounding head told him- to find his friend slumped on the floor, laughing softly to himself.

"Cripes." Sirius moved over to him and helped him up. James wrapped his arms around Sirius' body and leaned his head into his chest. After a moment, when they had steadied themselves, James looked up into Sirius' face and smiled faintly.

Sirius didn't know why he did it- didn't even realize that he _had_ done it until it was already happening- but he tipped his face down and pressed his lips to James' as lightly as a butterfly lands on a leaf. For a moment they stayed still that way, and then Sirius was really kissing him, pressing his tongue into James' mouth, and he felt an immense rush of pleasure when James softened and yielded, massaging Sirius' tongue with his own. When James pulled away at last he laid his head on Sirius' chest and sighed. "Barnaby, you are an oddly tidy kisser," James mumbled, and then he passed out drunk and could not be woken.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius awoke with a splitting migraine, a dry mouth, and all of his clothes from the night before still on him, though now creased and dirty and damp with sweat. He sat up very slowly and groaned, clutching his throbbing skull.

"It's about time you woke up." Remus sounded very disapproving and a touch amused. "Hog's Head? Really?"

Sirius had yet to open his eyes, knowing that the sunlight would cause his poor addled brain to dribble from his ears. "Urggh," he grunted.

With a laugh, Remus tossed him a damp cloth and said, "I've closed the curtains. You can open your eyes."

Sirius put the cloth to his forehead and cracked his eyelids very, very slowly, casting a cautious gaze around the room. It was true, the shades were drawn, and the room was blissfully dark. Remus and Peter sat at the foot of his bed, Remus wearing a superior sort of smirk and Peter's mouth twitching into something like a smile. "So," Remus said, and Sirius noted with gratitude that he was keeping his voice soft, "how was last night?"

Events of the night before began to swim up through the fog in his mind. Sneaking out of the castle, James thoughtlessly mussing his hair after a shot, the heat of the bar, the cold of the tunnel, the taste of James' lips-

"Shit."

"What?" Remus, bless him, looked worried.

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing, nothing." He looked over at James' empty bed, an awful sick churning growing in his stomach. "Where's James?"

Remus laughed and Sirius tried to hide his alarm. "He's at Quidditch practice, the sorry tosser! Had to be up at ten this morning."

"What time is it now?"

Peter glanced at his watch and licked his lips nervously. "Nearly two."

"Shit." Sirius rubbed his eyes, and pronounced his next words with unmistakable dread. "I've got to get down to the pitch." More lightheartedly he added, "You two go on, and good luck with your girls. Wormy, you'll need it," he teased, trying to keep his face from revealing his discomfort.

* * *

><p>The sunlight in the corridors leading outside was almost more than Sirius could manage. He watched people's faces with squinted eyes, his legs feeling almost like jelly. Had James told everyone what he had done? He imagined everyone sneering at him like Snape, calling him names, laughing behind his back, and a wave of nausea ran through his so powerfully he had to stop and lean against a column to steady himself, thankful to now find himself in a disused hallway.<p>

As though the very thought of Snape had caused him to materialize, Sirius heard approaching footsteps and Snape's cruel, cold laughter.

"What's wrong, Barnaby?" Snape said condescendingly, and Sirius felt his whole body go cold.

He began shaking uncontrollably, his heart beating so fast and loudly that it seemed to almost drown out his frightened whisper: "What did you say?"

Snape simply laughed. "Who is Barnaby, anyway?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A curse hit Sirius like a fist to the stomach and he found himself on the ground, unable to move. Under normal circumstances something like this would have never been possible, but now? Weak from whiskey and shock? Sirius hadn't stood a chance, and he doubted very much that his friends would happen across this little scene and save him.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, you disgusting mutt, and I'll have you tell me or I'll tell everyone what I saw last night. _Who _is Barnaby?" Snape menaced Sirius with his wand, and Sirius felt the nausea rising up in him again. Unable to control himself, he vomited pitifully, gasping when it was over. He felt like he was losing control of himself; tears pricked at his eyes and he shuddered, horrified.

Snape stooped down beside him and pushed him away from his vomit, a small kindness that startled Sirius almost as much than Snape's words had. He blinked up at Snape, who was watching him curiously.

"Well, out with it." Snape stood again, still brandishing his wand. "And tell me the truth; I'll know if you're lying."

There didn't seem to be any point to concealing it anymore; Snape knew, and Sirius just wanted to go back up to the common room and sleep and pray that when he woke up none of this was real. His voice shaking, he mumbled, "It's James' dog. Barnaby is James' dog."

Snape laughed so hard and for so long that Sirius expected him to soon collapse on the ground beside him. But he didn't. Gathering control of himself, Snape wiped his eyes and drawled, "Well, that's fitting." Snape waved his wand and Sirius felt the bonds around him release, but he didn't move. There just wasn't any energy left in him to do so.

"I haven't told anyone," Snape said coolly. "I was alone in the bathroom when you two imbeciles stumbled in. I..I could have started a fight, you know- and I'm sure I would have won it, the state you both were in- but I considered it more beneficial to watch…and I was right."

Sirius sat up slowly and leaned against the cool column once more. The pain in his head was tremendous. "You spied on us," he said, but there was no accusation in his tone, just matter-of-fact acceptance.

"Yes." Snape sat down beside him, yet another surprising move, and looked at his face. "You're pale as a sheet."

"I feel like hell," Sirius said honestly, wiping the vomit-flecked spittle from his lips with the back of his hand.

Snape continued to watch him carefully. "Well, now that you know that _I _know, I think I've got some leverage here. And luckily for me, there's something I want."

Sirius eyed him but thought it prudent to maintain a silence. Snape seemed to expect this and went on, unfettered. "I want James to stay the hell away from Lily. And, if I'm not mistaken," Snape's eyes gleamed cruelly, "you want something similar. I see no reason why we can't work together on this, each of us getting what we want."

"Other than the fact that you're a disgusting slug and I hate you, you mean?" Sirius spat despite himself. So this was what Snape was playing at then? Blackmail? Hate surged through Sirius as powerful and as painful as the nausea it replaced.

Snape merely shook his head, his usual smirk playing at his lips. "The feeling is mutual, Sirius, but I believe we can overcome it. Now, here's the deal. You meet me in the Shrieking Shack next Saturday night- I don't care where you tell your idiotic friends you're going, so long as you show up alone- and we will work together on achieving _our _mutual goal. For your cooperation I will award you my undeviating silence, and I will even ensure my friends stop taunting you in the halls."

"And if I _don't _cooperate?" Sirius growled.

"That seems obvious, but you're a bit dense so I'll spell it out for you. I will tell everyone what I saw, in as much detail as I can remember, for the rest of my- and your- life."

Sirius felt his rage growing tremendously. "No one will believe you."

Snape scoffed and stood, still smirking. "Sirius, you fool, we're teenagers. All of our friends, our enemies, our peers, live in these halls and will take any morsel of gossip they can get. Do you think anyone cares about proof?" He shook his head, laughed once more, and stalked away, his footsteps carrying back to Sirius long after his image had faded away.

* * *

><p>"Blimey, Sirius!" James stooped down beside his friend, who was still sitting where Snape had left him, though his eyes were considerably more red and watery. "I've been looking for you all over! Remus said you had left for the pitch hours ago."<p>

Sirius nodded miserably, and James stooped to lift him in a sad parody of the night before. Once on his feet, however, Sirius didn't dare lean on James. "I'm not feeling too well, mate," Sirius said quietly, hoping those words alone were enough. They seemed to be. James held him carefully around the waist and led him slowly up to the hospital wing, speaking only once, a bit under his breath: "I knew you were a rotten drinker, but Merlin's beard!"


	6. Chapter 6

An overnight stay in the hospital wing cured Sirius both physically and mentally. James sat by his side until Madame Pomfrey shooed him out ten minutes to curfew, and Sirius was secretly heartened to hear that James had no idea how they'd gotten back into the castle, much less his own bed (amusingly Sirius had carried him in his arms like a child the whole way from the bathroom). The two had both agreed to never drink that much again, at least not during the school year, and had a laugh over Sirius' seemingly flimsy stomach. In the morning, when he was released, it was easy for Sirius to pretend that nothing had happened between him and Snape, or even with James, and that life was as back to normal as it could possibly be.

The illusion shattered almost immediately. As usual all the Death Eaters carried on teasing Sirius, whispering about him, snickering into their hands when he walked past- and it hurt him more now than it ever had before, now that he knew they were all right about him. Worse still was Snape himself, who spent the whole week merely smirking, a knowing glint in his eye. Sirius spent all of Saturday's detention sick with himself, running torturously though his options. He could tell the boys almost anything and they'd believe him, never thinking for a moment that he'd skiv off and lie about it. But Snape! That wretched bastard! Sirius didn't want to see him, much less speak to him. And getting alone with him? The thought both disgusted and distracted him.

In the washroom after detention Sirius looked in the mirror at the agony behind his eyes and made a choice. He couldn't ruin his relationship with James, that was the simple truth of it. So long as James never knew what had happened, it was as good as undone. He would meet Snape, at least for that.

* * *

><p>Sirius sat on the floor of the Shrieking Shack's parlor, a small fire blazing in its ash-covered fireplace. It was a chilly night, and wind whistled through the barely-standing shack, making him shiver. He half-contemplated turning into his Animagi-form- a big, warm, wonderfully fur-covered black dog- but he thought better of it, not wanting Snape to feel threatened. He wanted this over as quickly as possible, with no hitches.<p>

A small noise in the corner brought his mind back to the moment. The trapdoor swung open and Snape stepped out, brushing dirt from his black robes and grimacing. He kicked the door closed again, letting loose a flurry of dust, and approached Sirius slowly before easing cautiously on to the floor beside him. Still looking wary, Snape held out his hands to the fire and clenched his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering.

"I guess you couldn't have picked a meeting place _inside_ the castle," Sirius snorted.

Snape's eyes flitted around the room. "What, and have someone overhear the conversation we're about to have? I didn't think either of us wanted that."

Sirius scowled and let his gaze wander back to the fire, and Snape gave a low and terrible laugh. "Still not come to terms with it, then, Black?"

"Terms with what?" Sirius was still scowling, but he refused to meet Snape's eyes.

"You know." Snape shifted closer to the fire. "What happened. With you and James. How did it feel, finally getting what you wanted?"

There it was, the rage Sirius had expected to feel from the moment Snape had entered the room, flickering into life like a match in his guts. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Snape laughed again and muttered something to the feeble flames, making them burst into fervent, spectacular life. "Ah, that's better." He pulled off his heavy robe, revealing a pair of dark trousers and a thin white undershirt. Glancing at Sirius, he snickered, "I'd suggest you do the same, but I don't want you getting any ideas."

Almost out of spite Sirius yanked off his robe as well, though he was only wearing a pair of shorts and Gryffindor-themed red and gold socks. He held out his hands to the flames and stared at Snape, daring him to say something. But all Snape said was, "Nice socks," before turning back to the flames and adopting a pensive look.

"Listen," Sirius said after a few quiet moments, "I didn't come out here to sit around in my underpants with you, so why don't you tell me what this is all about?"

Snape gave him a hard look, and something strange occurred inside of Sirius at that moment: his heart picked up its pace, and his breath grew oddly quick. "I asked you," Snape said, not taking his eyes away from Sirius', "how it felt to get what you've been after. I want an answer."

The fire was too warm; Sirius felt his face growing hot. "That's why you wanted to meet? To talk about…about…what happened with me and James?"

"Not originally." Snape grinned cruelly. "But seeing how flustered you're getting…yeah, now I want to know. How was it, Sirius? Is James a good kisser?"

"I…" Sirius felt with mouth going dry. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to acknowledge his feelings for James, but Snape was _pressing _him and _goading_ him and he knew that Snape would never stop, not until- "Yes, all right? Is that what you want to hear? He was the best I've ever had!" He had meant to sound defiant but instead he found his voice was trembling as much as his hands were, still stuck out in front of the flames.

Snape's smile grew. "Intriguing. Now tell me, what exactly did you _feel_ as you kissed him?"

This was torture, simply, but of course Snape knew that. Sirius couldn't think about it; how could he articulate something he didn't even want to remember? "I…I felt...bold." It was too hard to look at Snape's eager eyes, and so Sirius spoke to the fire. "I felt…I felt as though…as though things were _right_, truly right for the first time in my life." The words were as much of a surprise to Sirius as they were to Snape, but once they were out of his mouth he knew they were true, that perhaps they were the truest words he'd ever spoken.

He dared a glance at Snape, who was still watching him closely, though the mirth in his face was gone and replaced by something Sirius couldn't recognize.

"You love him," Snape said after a quiet moment, and it wasn't a question; the look on Sirius' face as he'd proclaimed his feelings had answered it before it had been asked. "I wonder if he knows…"

"No!" Sirius grabbed Snape about the shoulders, his eyes wide with panic. "No, Severus, please, you musn't tell him! I'll do anything!"

A little smirk flitted across Snape's face once more and his eyes traveled down to Sirius' hands. Sirius didn't let go- couldn't let go, not until Snape promised his silence. Snape brought his eyes back to Sirius' and nodded. "You know the deal, Sirius. You help me, and he'll never know."

Relief flooded Sirius so strongly that he leaned back and sighed, closing his eyes as his back met the dusty wood flooring. "Just tell me what to do," he breathed, "and I'll do it. I swear it."

To Sirius' great surprise he felt Snape lay down beside him, his cold arm brushing against him. Snape sighed as well. "But don't you think you're missing out? I mean, James seemed perfectly willing to me. If Lily were out of his mind, then maybe…?"

"No." Sirius felt embarrassment creeping back across his face. "You heard him; he thought I was his _dog_. And he doesn't remember any of it. If he did…" Shame burned inside of him, making his stomach turn again.

"Maybe he wouldn't mind." Snape propped himself up on his elbow, and Sirius could feel him staring, though his eyes were still closed. "You're handsome, after all, and no doubt he cares for you…"

"He would mind!" Sirius sat up angrily, looking down at Snape with suddenly fierce self-loathing. "And who wouldn't! I don't blame him, I'm a sick bastard-"

Snape's mouth was on his before Sirius even knew what was happening. For a split-second it felt nice, not like it had with James but better than it had with Amelia or Brenda or Laney…but then he pushed Snape away, panting. "You…you…" He was shaking all over, his mouth wide and eyes blazing.

"I'm the only one that knows, Sirius," Snape whispered, and there was that strange look on his face, a look that made Sirius think of hunger and fire and vengeance. "I'm not going to tell anyone. You don't have to be afraid." He leaned in again, and though Sirius didn't back away, he didn't lean in either. It didn't seem to matter; Snape apparently took Sirius' lack of resistance as encouragement and pressed his mouth to Sirius' once again.

Something carnal in Sirius seemed to suddenly awaken. Snape's chest felt warm and firm beneath his hand, and his tongue was quick and agile. A tiny moan escaped him as Snape's hand slid down his abdomen and brushed the hair below his bellybutton. Both boys were breathing hard as Snape moved his mouth down to Sirius' neck, licking and kissing and nibbling. It seemed to Sirius that his hand was working of its own accord, fumbling shakily with the button on Snape's trousers, and then hastily pulling down the zipper and yanking Snape's pants and undershorts down around his hips. Snape gave a weak noise, almost like a whimper, as Sirius began to stroke him carefully, running his thumb down the underside of Snape's firm girth. Snape took Sirius in his hand with much more ferocity, grasping him and moving hard and quick so that with a little shout of surprise Sirius found himself coming within minutes.

"A virgin?" Snape breathed, and there was something of his usual taunting self in his tone. He kissed Sirius deeply and murmured, "Don't worry; I'll be gentle." Sirius let Snape turn him around and position him on his knees, pulling off his shorts as he kissed his back and shoulder blades. Snape stroked him lightly from behind for a moment, and the combination of that and feeling Snape pressed against his body meant he was soon hard and shaking with need once more. Snape flicked his tongue along Sirius' ear and said softly, "This will hurt at first. But then it will feel very, very good- I promise." Sirius nodded uneasily, nervous but aching with need. There was simply no turning back.

Snape kept his word, easing into Sirius gently and barely moving against him, though Sirius could tell he wanted to ravish him. And, true to Snape's word, the first few minutes were all clenched teeth and hissed gasps…but soon he felt something he'd never felt before, an intense pleasure that made him moan and rock forward, pressing his face against the warm wooden floor. This seemed to be a sign Snape had been waiting for; he moved against him more quickly now, stroking in more deeply, each boy moaning in unison, sweat making their bodies shine in the firelight. Snape began working Sirius' cock again, letting his fingers play along the shaft and rubbing his thumb back and forth against the sticky tip, his hand as greedy and full of lust as the rest of him. Sirius groaned; it was all too much, and again he felt himself coming hard- though this time the feeling was amplified by Snape's rough thrusting and the hot breath against the nape of his neck. He shook and tensed, little electric explosions going off throughout his body, and when Snape let him go he collapsed against the floor, panting and trembling, hot cum spilled messily across his stomach and thighs as well as his back, where Snape had finished with a shaking moan. Beside him, Snape fell out on his back, his chest rising and falling deeply, his body soaked with sweat.

As soon as Sirius began to catch his breath, comprehension sobered him and he stood swiftly, his face still red, and dressed as quickly as he could manage.

"Oh come on-" Snape groaned, but Sirius didn't hear the rest; he fled down into the secret tunnel and ran as though his life depended on it.


	7. Chapter 7

The boys had all blessedly believed Sirius when he told them that he had taken a fourth-year Ravenclaw named Nicole off to some secluded section of the castle when questioned about his whereabouts, though they adamantly agreed that this conquest didn't count towards the total end-of-year tally since Sirius didn't call her first, nor had he previously conquered Evangeline. (Remus was the only one that suggested it count anyway, saying that the precedent would make it easier for the others to score as well. His suggestion was met with fervent distaste.) The fact that he had washed and dressed before any of them had woken up had not crossed their minds. In truth Sirius hadn't slept, instead having spent the night in the bathroom, curled up at the bottom of the shower and trying to understand what had happened.

It wasn't like Snape had raped him. He could have stopped the smaller boy at any time: overpowered him, cursed him, or simply ran away. And worse, Sirius had felt his traitorous body's overwhelming satisfaction, had enjoyed each and every tingle of pleasure erupting just below his skin, and in fact could still feel the whisper of Snape's kisses along his spine. His memory didn't lie; he had kissed James and it was the best kiss of his life. And then with Snape…

A memory had resurfaced as the warm water ran over him. He was in third year, sitting with a pretty girl named Emily Brown in a room he'd discovered quite accidently one day, a dusty old storeroom filled with fluffy purple sleeping bags. They were kissing, Emily undoing her blouse with careful white fingers, but Sirius was thinking about how he could relate this to James later and make it sound exciting. The shock of her cool skin under his hand brought his mind back as Emily placed his hand on her right breast, but when she slipped her small hand down to his trousers…nothing. She had cried, assuming that Sirius just didn't think she was pretty enough, moaning and crying that she knew he had been with tons of girls before (though, of course, hers was the first breast he'd ever touched, and he had never done anything more than kiss). Sirius assured her that wasn't the case, that he was very sorry and had a lot on his mind, but the damage was done and Emily never spoke to him again. The boys all assumed he had tricked her into bed, and Emily never said anything to suggest otherwise. The scene changed, the girls changed, but the sad and sorry lack of interest was there in each memory he flipped through, dozens of girls crying because Sirius Black didn't find them attractive. The truth was lingering there in all his memories, and then he thought of Snape and noticed the way his body reacted- and Snape wasn't even there! – and he couldn't deny it any longer. His whole life had been a lie…and would continue to be one.

* * *

><p>Perhaps because of his recent soul-searching, it was with a deep sense of dread that he watched Evangeline approach his group at lunch on Monday, her dainty pointed chin lifted slightly.<p>

"Hullo, Sirius," she cooed, dropping into the seat beside him and flashing him a dazzling little smile, complete with a finishing lip bite.

"Oh, hello Evangeline." He would play this up, he decided, if only to keep his friends in the dark. He smirked at them, barely sparing the gorgeous girl beside him a glance. "All's well, I hope?"

Evangeline nodded, some of her confidence apparently depleted. "Oh, yes, it's just…" she trailed off, and Sirius ignored her for several moments before glancing up from his breakfast and mumbling, "Hmm?" distractedly.

"Well, it's just…I…" she cleared her throat. Her hand didn't seem to want to stay out of her hair. "Well, Kevin and I broke up, you know."

"No, I didn't realize," Sirius said with a whistle, letting the first hint of interest play in his voice. "That's…interesting." He flashed another smirk at his friends, who were watching the exchange with bated breath.

"Yes, well." She let out a breath. "I remember you were asking me about Hogsmeade."

"Was I?" With a furrowed brow, Sirius rubbed his chin. "Yes, I suppose that _was _you."

James snorted, and Sirius felt his heart leap. Evangeline merely quivered and nodded. "Yes, that was me. I, um…I was hoping you still wanted to go."

Sirius pretended to consider for a moment. "Well, poor Andrea won't be happy…but, yes, sure. Meet us in the common room, then?"

"Oh, yes!" Evangeline leapt up from the bench and landed a quick, flitted kiss on his cheek before dashing away to shriek with her girlfriends.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Girls."

James was laughing facedown into the tablecloth, his dark hair trembling. (Fleetingly Sirius considered stroking it before shaking the thought away fiercely.) Remus was trying very hard not to let his mouth twitch into a smile. "Did you really have plans to take Andrea?" he asked, and Sirius shrugged.

"No idea, mate," he said, standing. "Who can keep track?"

* * *

><p>Hogsmeade weekend approached more swiftly the more Sirius dreaded it. His spirits were slightly assuaged, however, by the apparent silent treatment he was getting from Snape and his cronies. When the morning came to go into the village, Sirius found himself in something very close to a good mood. He dressed carefully, wanting to look his best if only so people would <em>think<em> he cared, and wrapped himself in a thick scarf Mrs. Potter had sent him for Christmas the year before. It smelled like James' house still, and Sirius carried this happy thought with him like a warm ember in his heart.

Evangeline was waiting in the common room, her cheeks as pink as though she'd already been outside. "Oh! I was beginning to worry!" she exclaimed with a nervous little laugh, glancing at the clock.

For once his little rudeness had not been staged; they actually were a bit late, and Sirius was hoping to make this date a brief one. He put his hand on the small of her back and glanced around for his friends as they made their way down to the village.

"Madame Pudifoot's, then?" Sirius said as they ambled into Hogsmeade.

Evangeline's eyes widened. "Oh…oh, sure!"

They entered the little restaurant and Sirius struggled to keep the distaste from showing on his face. Girls loved Madame Puddifoot's, for whatever reason, but he could hardly stand the place. All those soppy decorations, and that dreadful harp music…

Her hands moving expressively, Evangeline chattered away, blathering about a Charms report and her mother's garden and whether it would snow and Christmas break and soon enough Sirius was simply nodding and smiling, his mind wandering back to his friends. Evangeline's hand, warm from grasping her teacup, startled him into paying attention.

"This is all very romantic, Sirius," she sighed, obviously pleased. "I didn't think you were the type, really, and then at lunch, well…I wasn't sure if you were still interested, you know, and of course I still fancied _you_, so…"

She went on and on for what felt like hours. At last a casual silence settled upon them as the sun began to dip below the village roofs. Evangeline was positively glowing; apparently she felt this date was going very well. "Want to take a walk?" Sirius suggested at last, hoping to stretch his legs and get away from the stuffy warmth of the gaudy little tearoom. Evangeline nodded enthusiastically, so he led her outside and, with her still tightly grasping his hand, began to amble along past the stores at a slow pace.

Hogsmeade really was a lovely place, and despite Evangeline's honestly unwelcome presence, Sirius felt almost well for the first time in weeks. He chose to ignore the fact that his eyes were skipping over the Shrieking Shack.

"Sirius?"

"Mm?" He turned to Evangeline, half-surprised to still find her there beside him. She stretched up on her tip-toes and kissed him carefully. It was obvious she had been planning this moment for awhile, so Sirius acted along as well as he could, making little encouraging noises and rubbing her back. When she pulled away her eyes were sparkling with happiness.

"I've had an amazing time," she whispered, looking at his mouth.

"Oh, oh yes. Me also," he insisted with false merriness. Where were James and Lupin? He hadn't seen them all day. Of course, he'd been trapped in that dreadful shop…

"-I'd love to stay longer, I really truly would," Evangeline was saying, "but I've got so much homework to do, I mean that Charms report I was telling you about alone is-"

"It's fine, pet." Sirius gave her one of his most charming smiles. "Why don't you head on back? I don't mind; I'll just meet up with James and have a butterbeer, maybe brag about how lovely my date was and how jealous he should be."

Evangeline simpered and gave him another kiss, this one on the cheek, before waving and walking away. Sirius watched her for a moment, his face grim, before heading off in search of James.


	8. Chapter 8

Sirius found his friends at a small table in Hog's Head pub. James was tanked, yammering wildly as he had done the night they had snuck out. A foot-tall stack of shot glasses leaned precariously beside him.

Remus frowned at him as he sat down. "Lily," he said, and James made a pitiful spluttering noise before laying his head on the table. Peter chuckled anxiously, and Remus gave him a look before addressing Sirius again, "I tried to pry him away but he won't listen to me the way he listens to you. And," he dropped his voice, "I'll confess I'm getting worried about the time, considering what tonight is and all." He pushed away from the table, his chair scraping noisily. "Me and Peter are off. Meet us later?"

Sirius nodded, and Remus looked slightly relieved. "Damn these short winter days," he said mournfully, turning away. Peter followed him out the door, sparing a darting glance back as Sirius sat down heavily.

"How did your date go, my dearest and oldest friend?" crooned James from the crook of his arm.

Sirius chuckled and gestured for a drink. "Swimmingly, my poor sodden wreck of a best friend, which seems to be more than I can say for you and yours."

"She thinks I'm vile, Sirius," said James honestly, with a small hiccup.

The barman brought Sirius a butterbeer, slamming it down on the table with a scowl. "_He_," said the barman furiously, "is cut off. No more! I'll not have Hogwarts students getting me into trouble, oh no!" Continuing to swear under his breath, he stalked away, and Sirius laughed his first honest laugh of the day.

"Listen, mate, why don't you just forget about Lily for awhile?" Sirius suggested, taking a swig from his drink. "Girls prefer a guy who doesn't seem too interested. Interest seems like desperation, which, let's be honest, you reek of. Among other things…"

James shook his head and looked up at Sirius with bloodshot eyes. "How can I forget her, Padfoot? How? She's all I think about…"

"Well, there's your problem." Sirius poked his chest playfully. "You need something to distract you. Another girl, maybe…"

James' eyes lit up. "Yes…that's something…" He leaned into his friend, his breath strong and his eyes serious. "Evangeline likes you a lot."

"Yes, but-"

"_A lot_," James went on, motioning for the bartender (who only scowled further and shook his head). "She's been mooning over you since last year! And you say things went well on this date of yours…"

"Yes, but-"

"Then that settles it. Sirius, you need to really prime her. I mean, _sell it_ for Merlin's sake, tell her anything you have to-"

"Honestly, mate, what are you blathering about?" Sirius caught hold of James' shoulder, his brow furrowed.

"I'm talking about sharing and caring with my closest of friends, Sirius. I'm talking about mutual seduction. I'm talking about," James swept his arms out grandly, "the most perfect of alliances. Sirius, I'm talking about you and I fucking that Evangeline girl at the same time."

Sirius howled with laughter. "You're drunk," he bellowed, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"No! Well…yes." James shook his head and motioned for the bartender again. "But I've never been more sure of anything! Sirius, this is just what I need to get my spirits up! I haven't been laid in…Merlin's beard, has it been more than a year already?"

"When I tell you about this tomorrow-"

"I will burst into flames out of sheer amazement and respect for my personal genius," James insisted.

Sirius laughed again. "Sounds painful."

"Oh, take this seriously for just a moment!" James begged, waving frantically for the extremely angry bartender, who was trying desperately to ignore him. "Listen: I can't get a girl on my own, not right now, not with _her _always buzzing around in my skull, so I _need _you, Sirius! I need this! Please! Consider it." His frantic waving caused him to topple over the stack of shot glasses, creating a huge clatter and sending bits of glass all over the room. Everyone froze for a moment. Sirius grabbed James' arm, laughing so hard he could barely breathe, and yanked him out of the bar and into the village in time to miss the flying bottle the barman aimed at both their heads.

* * *

><p>Sirius woke up on Sunday morning in the best mood he'd been in since the Marauders' Meeting on the Hogwarts Express. Their run had been exhilarating, with Moony perfectly in check and everything going smoothly. It had been hilarious watching James try to navigate as a drunken stag, but eventually he'd sobered up and resumed his usual graceful prancing. Lupin was still in the Shack, spending the day recovering from his painful transformation, but he, James, and Peter had made their way back to the castle and caught a few hours of sleep before breakfast.<p>

"Have you considered my proposition?" James said once they'd been seated in the Great Hall, and Sirius nearly choked.

"You weren't honestly suggesting that?" His voice was muffled by a mouthful of blueberry muffin.

"Course I was." James spread some butter on a piece of toast, his face thoughtful. "She really likes you, I don't see why she wouldn't go for it."

Peter gave a little tremor. "What're you planning?"

"Nothing," snapped James. He gave Sirius a look that said '_We'll discuss this later'_ and began heartily eating his toast.

* * *

><p>Later turned out to be Potions the next afternoon. "I propose that you get her well into you, right? And then just sort of mention that you've always been hot for three-ways. I reckon she'll be relieved when she finds out you're not just trying to get at one of her girlfriends. What do you think?" James was tossing ingredients haphazardly into his cauldron, not even looking at the book.<p>

"Oh, look, you weren't meant to put the dragon's blood in yet," Sirius said, chuckling at James' potion, which had turned a hideous shade of greenish brown.

"Who cares?" James swirled his wand, and the potion disappeared. "Anyway, what do you think?"

"I don't think it'll work." James gave Sirius an exasperated look, and so he added, "Well, she's sold on me being this big romantic, right? So what kind of romantic guy says, 'Oh hey, love, by the way, do you mind if my friend fucks you as well?'. It won't work. She'll see right through me and then _neither_ of us will get laid."

"So then what do we do?"

Sirius shrugged, and James groaned with frustration. Suddenly, as he was chucking a handful of herbs into his cauldron, a sly smile crept on to his face. "I've got it!"

"Oh yeah?" Sirius was watching his own cauldron with a frown. The potion was supposed to be blue, but his was a deep purple.

"Yeah." James looked proud. "You get her alone, right? But warn me first so I can watch for you on the map. And then, when I see the coast is clear, I'll slip in under the Cloak and wait for what seems like the right moment. Then I'll open and shut the door really quickly, you see, so it looks like I've come in by accident."

"And then she'll tell you off and ask you to leave," Sirius responded. What had he forgotten? Branch of holly…branch of holly…had he done that already?

James' potion burbled indecently. "No, that's the beauty of it, mate. You see, I'm going to let you do all of the heavy lifting, so to speak, so that by the time I reveal myself she'll be too turned on to object."

"Oh, sure!" Sirius laughed and chucked a holly branch into his potion with a shrug. "That's going to go exactly as you've planned, James. Definitely no room for error on that one."

"Well you haven't suggested anything better," he sniffed as Sirius' potion turned bright red and began to hiss menacingly.

"Oh, hell…" Sirius watched his potion burst into flames and disappear. "Fine. If you'll quit pestering me about it, then consider that our official plan."

* * *

><p>On their first Saturday of freedom since they'd arrived, the boys went out to watch James as Gryffindor played Hufflepuff in their house's first Quidditch game of the season. Sirius was just beginning to enjoy himself when a rough hand tapped his shoulder.<p>

Snape.

Sirius felt himself go both hot and cold at once. Snape tipped his head toward the back row of bleachers, and Sirius excused himself- claiming to need the facilities- before clambering up and sinking down beside Snape, trying to make himself unseen.

"I thought you were leaving me alone! Wasn't that part of the deal?" Sirius hissed.

Snape smiled coolly. "We never really worked out a deal, as I recall. You seemed in a big hurry to leave."

Sirius flushed. "My understanding was that as long as I tried to keep James away from Lily, you'd leave me alone."

"Even if that _were_ the deal, you're failing miserably," Snape said blandly, his eyes on the game.

"I've got something in the works!"

"Care to divulge?"

Looking almost like Peter in his nervousness, Sirius shook his head. "Not here. I don't…if my friends see…"

"Oh, right." Snape sneered nastily. "I forgot what a fraud you are. Very well, meet me in a certain bathroom- I see you know the one by how pale you've just gone- tomorrow night, and we'll talk it over."

"I'm not-"

"I promise to keep my hands to myself, Sirius." Snape stood. "That is all. I'll see you there…or, not. It's really up to you, isn't it?" He smiled thinly and moved away, back to where the Slytherins all sat. Sirius gave a little groan of resentment and buried his face in his hands as the stands roared with excitement.


	9. Chapter 9

"See, that's twice now," Remus said, clapping his hands together as his knight wrecked one of Peter's bishops. "I really think she ought to count."

"Not fair. I'm down a piece," Peter grumbled.

James shook his head vehemently. "What about Evangeline?"

"She's as good as conquered, mate," Sirius said, "and I would also argue that Nicole should count, except I'm pressed for time. I'm off!"

"Good luck!" Remus said, not looking up from the chessboard.

"Won't need it," answered Sirius, with a wink.

* * *

><p>Sirius couldn't be sure what felt worse: lying to his friends so he could go meet Snape in secret, or the awful pitter-patter of his heart as he moved toward the bathroom. It didn't really matter; by the time he reached the bathroom door he was a shaky, sweaty mess. He went inside.<p>

Perched on the edge of the large bathtub at the center of the room was Snape. He was wearing nothing but a towel, his white skin gleaming with dampness. His body was a surprise, slight but covered in a thin layer of muscle, with a patch of dark hair on his stomach that trailed down under the towel and made Sirius blush. He tried to cover up the fact that he had been looking, but Snape had seen: he laughed and gestured for Sirius to come closer, locking the door with a spell.

"Well, sit." Snape patted the spot beside him, and Sirius glumly obeyed. "So, tell me about your plan."

It was hard for Sirius to think. The air in the room was warm and close, and Snape had leaned back slightly, his chest glistening with every breath… "I…I've found a way to distract him, is all."

"Go on," Snape said, kicking his feet slowly in the sudsy water of the bath. "Details, Sirius."

"Well." Sirius gulped and tugged at the neck of his robe. "There's this girl, Evangeline."

Snape nodded. "Your new girlfriend, yes. I've heard."

"She's not my-"

"Obviously I of all people realize that," Snape cut in, his eyes flashing wickedly.

Sirius cleared his throat and went on. "Well, I suggested to James that he maybe forget about Lily for awhile and try for a different girl. And he…erm, suggested Evangeline."

"But Evangeline is mad for you. Why would she move on to James?"

"Heh." Sirius didn't want to tell Snape about the actual plan, but he wasn't sure he had any other choice. "He suggested that perhaps we, um…"

"Share?" Snape's eyebrows were high, his mouth smirking.

"It sounds awful," Sirius burst, "but it's what he wants and I-"

"You want it, too. How else will you get to share such an intimate moment with him? There must be a girl between you, and why not Evangeline?" Snape laughed and ran a hand through his wet hair. "So how do you intend to get her to agree?"

It felt like there was a fire blazing in Sirius' face. He could only barely mumble, "He's going to sort of…burst in on us. As if by accident. And then just…"

The look on Snape's face made Sirius look away. His eyes moved down, and his mouth fell slightly open. Snape's towel was bulging indecently. He licked his lips and looked back up at Snape, who was watching him carefully. Slowly, his eyes still on Sirius', Snape moved his hand down and untucked his towel, laying it open around him. Sirius began to tremble. He couldn't help it, he looked down as Snape began to touch himself slowly, his slender fingers drifting softly down his chest and entwining his shaft.

It was hard for Sirius to catch his breath. "You…you said-"

"I said I would keep my hands to myself," Snape said, his voice deep and husky. "I'm doing that, aren't I?"

As though someone had taken over his body, Sirius found himself hurriedly tugging off first his robe, then his trousers and shirt. He was on top of Snape in seconds, driving his tongue into his mouth, moving his hand along the places Snape had been rubbing only moments before, groaning with suddenly unbearable lust. Snape scratched his nails along Sirius' back, growling at the sudden force of Sirius' desire, as Sirius bit and sucked his neck, his shoulder, his white gleaming chest. Sirius hardly knew what he was doing, but he found himself lifting Snape's legs to his hips and easing into him carefully.

"You don't have to be gentle," Snape whispered, and Sirius wasn't. He took Snape with such ferocity the smaller boy was crying out and gasping, his eyes clenched tightly, his hands clutching feebly at the wet tile floor below them. It felt terrifically tight, and Sirius closed his eyes and bit his lip as he thrusted again and again, his breath heavy. He heard Snape coming below him, moaning and arching his back, and felt Snape clench up around him as a sticky warmth hit his chest. That was all he needed, he felt himself tighten then release, heard himself shout, "Ah!" and then there it was, the explosion of electricity that crackled up from his groin and throughout his limbs, making him buzz and tremble.

He pulled out but didn't roll away, laying his weight down on top of Snape, his breath coming out in fast little gasps. Snape ran his long fingers up and down Sirius' spine, making him shudder with pleasure. Sirius found Snape's lips and began kissing him deeply, cupping his cheek in his hand. Snape responded in kind, working his fingers through Sirius' hair, and when Sirius pulled away they lay looking at each other for a long moment, each breathing hard.

"Severus, I…"

Snape shook his head and fought his way out from underneath him. "I need to go. Good luck with James." He yanked on his robe and fled from the room so quickly that Sirius was still lying naked on the tile as the echo of the door slammed through the empty bathroom.

* * *

><p>Freshly bathed and blissfully alone, Sirius sat in front of the common room's fire in his pajamas, his face somber. The first time with Snape had been a satisfaction of many things, Sirius thought, his eyes unfocused. Curiosity, first and foremost. A need that had never before been filled. A substitution for the boy he could never have.<p>

But the second time…what had that satisfied? A strange sort of anguish rang sadly in his chest. His curiosity was sated, his need filled, and soon he would be closer to James then he could have ever imagined. So why had the sight of Snape's arousal driven him instantly lust-crazed? And- he thought this more broodingly, with a stronger sense of shame and torture then he had ever felt- why had he kissed Snape like a lover, why had he looked into his eyes and seen his own dark, terrible heart reflected back to him? Why did it feel like Snape was the only person who could look at him- at the true him, the self Sirius tried desperately to hide- and not only accept him but…but to kiss him the way he had, as if he…

Sirius didn't want to think about it anymore. He extinguished the fire and went up to bed, his feet heavy.


	10. Chapter 10

In the weeks before Christmas break, the most Sirius saw of Snape was the hem of his cloak disappearing around a corner. He tried to ignore it; if Snape was leaving him alone, then his troubles were over, right? (Something nagged at the back of his mind late at night suggesting otherwise, but he simply swatted it away like nothing more than an obnoxious fly.) He was helped in his forgetfulness, too, by the now constant presence of Evangeline who tailed him like a shadow.

She sat next to him one morning at breakfast, and it seemed to Sirius that after that moment she never left. When he was walking to class, there she was, chattering animatedly into Sirius' bewildered silence. At Quidditch games she was there, leaning her head on his shoulder and grabbing his hand whenever Gryffindor scored. In the common room she would appear as though from thin air and slip into his lap, burbling pleasantly as he stretched around her to his homework. And on weekends he always found her waiting for him in the Great Hall, buzzing with excitement. She would patiently wait for him to finish his meal, then drag him away to some secluded corner and snog him until his face felt numb. The boys teased him relentlessly, with Remus being the most amused, taking Sirius' discomfort as a sign that he was being forced to "settle down". In rare private moments, however, James would congratulate him, gripping his shoulder, a fierce look in his eyes. In fact James seemed so preoccupied over Sirius and Evangeline that he never mentioned Lily, though occasionally, when he caught a glimpse of her, that sad, dogged look would steal across his face for a moment.

On the evening before the last day of classes, James managed to get Sirius alone for a few minutes in the bathroom.

"I think she's ready," James said, his voice strange.

Sirius had never cared much for the idea, and James' preoccupation frightened him. "I think after break would be best-"

"No, no," James swore. His eyes were blazing; Sirius was fairly certain he had been drinking. "If you wait until after break, some of her feelings could dissipate. Or she could meet someone new. You don't know. Now is the time to strike!" He looked up at Sirius with slightly bloodshot eyes. "I need this."

It broke Sirius' heart to see James that way. He had to take a deep breath to stop the uncomfortable prickling in his eyes. "Okay, James, we can try."

James smiled but there was something heartless about it, something pained and strangled.

* * *

><p>The plan had gone decently well, thus far. Classes were over, and Sirius had suggested to Evangeline that they might like to say goodbye in private. He led her to the room with the purple sleeping bags, knowing that James was sitting in his bed, staring at the Marauders' Map. He pretended to close the door but left it open just a smidge so it wouldn't make a noise when James slipped in, then turned to Evangeline, his heart thumping wildly.<p>

She was crying softly. "Sirius, I don't think I can bear this break without you!" she moaned, throwing herself into his arms.

Sirius held her awkwardly. "There, there, love…we'll be back here in no time."

"Maybe I could come to your house for a few nights during break?" she sniffed.

He laughed, forgetting himself. "I don't even want to be at my house. Trust me, you won't either. Besides," he cupped her chin, "doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder?"

"I don't think I could possibly be more fond of you," she sighed, bringing her lips up to his. He kissed her patiently, his mind working. James would be entering the room within moments; he had to stop her crying and get her into a more…willing frame of mind. Carefully he lifted her, his hands on her bum, and pulled her legs up around his waist. She gave a little gasp of surprise but didn't stop kissing him, so he felt encouraged in his next act: he gently set her down on one of the dusty sleeping bags, bringing himself down on top of her.

Evangeline squirmed a little underneath him and he lifted up quickly, his eyes worried. "Did I hurt you?"

She giggled. "No, silly. Come back to me." She pulled him back down and kissed him again, her hands moving up and down his chest. Sirius rubbed her thigh absently, listening for James.

There it was: a soft creak that wouldn't have been heard if he hadn't been listening for it. Evangeline gave no sign of noticing; she was hastily unbuttoning Sirius' shirt, her breath coming in quick little gasps. "I've been wanting this," she sighed, and Sirius felt his face got hot- not with desire, but with embarrassment that James was watching such a delicate moment. Suppose she undid his pants and discovered…?

But that wasn't an issue, Sirius realized with a start. The combination of Evangeline's quick hands tearing off his shirt and the knowledge that James was watching, looking at his body, meant that he was more than prepared for what was coming. Heartened, he slipped his hand up Evangeline's skirt and began to stroke her carefully, listening to the sounds she made. It was an odd and not altogether pleasant sensation against his hand, but he preserved for James, and after a few moments he felt her shuddering beneath him as she cried out, "Oh, yes!"

He had done it; he had brought a girl to orgasm! His pride and astonishment were quickly forgotten as she grasped him roughly and flipped him onto his back. "Oh!" he gasped, as her mouth moved down his chest and her lithe little fingers undid his pants. She tugged them away, revealing a hardness even Sirius was surprised by (he thought with a little quickening of his heart that James was now looking too, not knowing that it was _him _that had caused it) and without preamble took him into her mouth and slurped greedily.

Sirius felt his mouth gaping. Despite his reputation he had, of course, never had such an act performed on him before. It was with mingled relief and disturbance that he found it felt good- _really _good, good enough to make his toes curl and to allow little noises, shaking little oh's and ah's, to slip out of him of their own volition. She worked eagerly, getting her hands involved, making satisfied little sounds and looking up at him with what looked like both pride and determination. Just as he began to feel a familiar tightening in his abdomen, the room's creaky old door slammed open and shut, and James was there, calling in mock casualness, "Hey, Sirius-"

He stopped and fixed a surprised look on his face. "I-I'm so sorry!"

Evangeline had frozen, her hands still grasping Sirius firmly, her eyes wide. Sirius wasn't sure what the next step was but figured James had plotted something, so he lay very still and quiet, his chest heaving.

For a long moment nobody moved. And then, bewilderingly, James took a step forward. Evangeline said nothing. She didn't move. And Sirius found himself saying in a voice that wasn't his own- a thick, growling, hungry voice- "Evangeline, love?"

She looked at him as if she were glad that he was going to solve this bit of discomfort.

"Evangeline, James is my best mate." Sirius sat up a bit and stroked her hair. His voice was soothing, and he never let his eyes stray from hers. "You don't have to be ashamed. I share everything with James."

Swallowing hard, Evangeline let her gaze wander to James and back again. "E-everything?"

"Everything." There was a note of finality, a suggestion that the next step was hers to make. To his great astonishment he felt her hands began to move again- very slowly and cautiously, but definitely moving. He looked up at James with incredulity written all over his face and found James looking exactly the same way. James looked at Evangeline, who was beginning to work a bit more enthusiastically again, and looked back at Sirius as if to say: _Well, may I?_ Sirius gave a little shrug, and James took a few careful steps forward.

Sirius lay back. Evangeline was sucking him again, those little hands groping, and he propped his head up with his folded arms so he could watch. James was rubbing her back- careful, his face full of disbelief. She shifted a bit and brought her ass up into the air, taking Sirius even more deeply into his mouth as she did.

"Ah," he groaned. James moved his hand down under Evangeline's skirt and she began to moan, the humming of her throat making Sirius tense all over. It felt good, so good he could barely stand it, and he watched with a shiver as James undid his own pants and moved towards Evangeline. There was a moment of disappointment when Sirius realized he couldn't see anything, but the look on James' face and the increased humming and occasional gasping of Evangeline assuaged him. James was biting his lip, his hands on Evangeline's hips, each thrust causing him to take a deep breath. In that moment James was so beautiful Sirius fell in love with him twice over. He wanted to push Evangeline out of the way, to stroke James' dark hair and kiss that lip James couldn't stop biting…but instead he watched, letting Evangeline do the things he wished the boys could handle themselves.

Sirius found that they all worked together beautifully. Without speaking they had rearranged themselves, Evangeline climbing gracefully astride Sirius while taking James into her mouth. This was a much more favorable angle, and Sirius watched the events before him with a jealous longing. Evangeline's wet warmth felt strange around his cock, but it was still good. He panted and groaned and gave a little strangled cry when he saw James tighten his hand in Evangeline's hair and thrust up against her. When James came- not with a moan but with a soft "mmm"- Sirius watched in wonder and delirious want before feeling his own body reacte, contract, pull in, and then wonderfully vividly release. Waves of warmth and vibrating energy washed over him and he was powerless to do anything more than lie back and pant, his eyes clenched tightly.

There was a certain awkwardness in the room when he had collected himself enough to sit up and lean up on his elbows. James was clearing his throat and buttoning his pants. "I…"

"You should go," Sirius said, not wanting it to be true. He willed James to wait for him with the Cloak outside the door and hoped it showed on his face.

James nodded and strode away quickly. Sirius brought his gaze back to Evangeline, who was watching him with a look of startled understanding. "You planned this," she whispered. It was a testament to her surprise that she didn't sound angry, and a testament to his that Sirius didn't deny it. She stood- not furiously but slowly, her face still working to assemble a proper expression, and straightened her clothes.

"Evangeline…"

That seemed to do it. Fury blazed in her voice as she growled, "Don't. Don't ever talk to me again. You _bastard_." She ran from the room, her heavy footsteps echoing down the hall.

Still somewhat bewildered and entirely drained, Sirius lay still for a moment before gathering his clothing and quickly, messily dressing. He slunk from the room like a thief.

"Sirius!" James yanked off his Cloak and waggled his eyebrows, his face glowing. "That was…that was…brilliant!" He clapped joyfully.

Sirius had to laugh. "Sure, right up until she broke up with me."

James made a dismissive noise. "She was a nuisance anyway." He slung his arm around Sirius' shoulder and gave a happy little sigh. "Mate, you were brilliant. I haven't felt this _alive _in months. You really came through for me." James looked up at Sirius with such perfect happiness and camaraderie that Sirius had to stop himself kissing James again.

"Now," James began as they moved down the hall towards the common room, "let's discuss Christmas break. Obviously, you'll be wanting to come over…"

Sirius stopped listening, simply letting himself enjoy the glow that he and James now found themselves in. It was almost perfect bliss.


	11. Chapter 11

Winter break was over, and with the second half of the school year came blustery winds and towers of snow, encircling and muffling the whole first floor of the castle. Hogsmeade weekends and Quidditch games were cancelled and the student body at Hogwarts spent weekends bored and restless.

The first Saturday of February saw Remus and James playing a fierce battle of chess in the Gryffindor common room, which was packed with similarly bored students flipping through magazines or playing gobstones in the center of the room. The blazing fire had drawn a group of pretty girls, including Lily, and James kept stealing glances.

Remus laughed almost wickedly and James whirled to see his queen being run through by one of Remus' knights. "And to think, I gave you the advantage!" Remus laughed. "After all, I'm down a piece."

James rubbed his hand down his face and groaned. "I've not lost yet!"

Beside them, Peter was writing a piece for Defense against the Dark Arts entitled 'Should The Dark Arts be taught In Schools' with his tongue between his teeth. Sirius lounged on a large pillow on the floor, his arms crossed under his head. He was just beginning to doze off when James nudged him with his foot.

"You should go skivv us up some snacks," James whispered. "I _know _I could beat ol' Moony on a full stomach."

Sirius doubted it- Remus never lost- but he assured his friend, with a wink to Remus, that he was sure that was the case and he would do his best to snap up a plate or two from the house-elves in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Munching happily on a treacle tart, Sirius meandered back to the common room, taking a less frequented way so that he could avoid nosy professors and mooching students alike. He was feeling good, fantastically good- which should have been the first warning that trouble was lurking around the corner.<p>

Lurking it was, and in no less than the form of Severus Snape. Sirius came up short, his blood going cold. He had almost managed to forget about Snape, to forget all the…things…that had occurred between them.

"Sirius," Snape said genially with a slight incline of his head. They met each others' eyes, both aware of the uncomfortable energy that crackled between them. Sirius kept silent, and so Snape went on: "I've been meaning to talk to you."

Clearing his throat, Snape watched a painting of a group of children dancing in a circle, enjoying the first day of spring. "Your plan. Did you succeed?"

"Yes," Sirius mumbled. He didn't care much to think of that afternoon in the store room with Evangeline. People had pestered him at first about their separation after break, and he had been fairly successful at hiding his discomfort…but he had a hard time hiding things from Snape. At was as if the younger boy could see right through him, into the darkest and most awful secrets of his heart.

Snape nodded. "I thought so. She hates you now, it seems. But James? How does he feel about it?"

If there was anything Sirius didn't want to discuss with Snape, it was James. "He seems better for it. He's not been bothering Lily," he added pointedly.

"No, he hasn't." Snape mused on this for a moment. "But I have no doubt that he will make a pass at her again soon enough. What else are you planning?"

"Wasn't that enough?" Sirius lost his composure, slamming the plates he'd gotten from the kitchen down on an overhanging ledge. "You know, it's not like you've got very much to dangle over me anymore! Anything you can say about me, I can say about you too."

Snape seemed taken aback. His face screwed up into a scowl. "But you wouldn't dare."

"Try me," Sirius spat, and he was surprised to see Snape's hand go for his pocket…

Sirius was too fast for him. He wasn't ill this time, nor was he heartbroken or even very frightened. He felt like himself at last, and he had always been stronger and faster than Snape. His wand was pressed to Snape's chest, Snape's wand hand hanging impotent and empty. "I'm done with this, Severus," Sirius hissed, a rush of adrenaline making him feel incredible, invincible. "Done. You've been hanging over me like a dark cloud all school year and I won't have it anymore. Do you understand?"

Snape's eyes were hard. "I know all your secrets, Sirius, you can't just-"

"My secrets are your secrets." Sirius pressed his wand in harder, and Snape winced. "You don't want anyone to know about that part of yourself any more than I do. I'm not afraid of you anymore. So _leave me alone._" He made to move away but Snape caught his hand and pulled him back.

Suddenly, shockingly, they were kissing, both boys rough and shaking with anger and hatred and want. Snape pressed Sirius against the wall, holding both of Sirius' hands in one of his, letting his other hand trail low, down his chest, stroking his stomach-

"Oi!"

The boys broke apart, gasping. A curse flew down the hallway and hit a suit of armor, making it clatter to the floor.

"Unhand my friend, you greasy git!" James rounded the corner, the Maurader's Map in one hand, his wand outstretched in the other. His face was contorted with such rage that Snape took one look at him and ran, pounding down the hall, his robe billowing around him. James gave chase, roaring obscenities. Peter ran after them, squeaking in excitement, and Lupin sidled up next to Sirius, panting.

"You were taking awhile," he huffed. "James started getting nervous, I guess he was remembering you collapsing last fall. He checked the Map." Remus wiped his hand across his head. The days after the full moon always wore on him. "When we saw Snape moving down the hall toward you, we started coming downstairs. It seemed like you guys were talking, and it looked like you had the upper hand so we weren't _too _worried. But then when we saw Snape throw you against the wall…well, James started running and shouting and throwing curses, you know how he is."

Sirius thought he would melt with relief. "So…so you all thought he was attacking me?"

"Well, we were right, weren't we?" Remus shook his head and took Sirius' arm. "Come on, we'd better find out what's happening."

Sirius and Remus ran for some minutes, but they couldn't find James or the others. At last they heard shouting out in one of the courtyards and pressed their faces to the window, wiping away their fog after every breath.

James was plainly pummeling Snape. Peter stood to the side, shivering, occasionally trying to pull James away, but it was no use. Snape's face was a mess of blood, but James kept punching, shouting a different slur with every blow.

"No!" Sirius couldn't help himself; the sight horrified him. He flew down the hall and burst out into the cold, forcing his way through the thick and crunchy snow. He leapt on to James' back and pulled with all his weight, causing both boys to topple over. James tried to get away for a moment, but finally it seemed the rage went out of him and he slumped back against Sirius, breathing hard. Snape was moaning terribly, clutching his face. The snow around him was splashed with crimson.

Remus approached Snape carefully. "Don't hit me," he warned. "I'm trying to help you." To Peter he added, "Come over here and help me lift him." Peter did as was asked, and with one stern look back at James, Remus began to move back toward the castle slowly, pulling Snape along beside him.

When they were gone James put his face in his hands. "I don't know what got into me," he said tearfully. Sirius laid his head on James' shoulder and held him. He didn't know what else to do or say, but it seemed like enough, and they sat that way until the sky began to turn gray and their limbs had gone numb with cold.


	12. Chapter 12

The mood of the group was subdued in the days leading up to Valentine's Day, made only worse by James and his renewed interest in the definitely underwhelmed Lily. Remus seemed particularly affected by what had happened to Snape, his eyes often turning inward and dark. Sirius imagined he was relating James' wild rage with the beast inside of himself, wondering like he so often did if he would be able to keep control when his carnal instincts begged to take over. It was sobering for Remus, like someone had slapped him and said, "This is your future. This is what's waiting for you." He had already told the group that he wasn't willing to do their usual moonlight run anymore; the announcement did nothing to lift anyone's mood.

When they found themselves huddled silently in a corner of the common room, all staring at the table, James startled everyone by standing up suddenly, his chair moving loudly across the floor. "I have to try, one more time," he said quietly, his face set. Even though Sirius knew it was useless, he didn't stop him. Why bother? It seemed that love was always pain; better for James to learn early. And secretly Sirius felt a bland kind of satisfaction in knowing that just as he would never have James, so would James never have Lily.

Sirius watched as Lily brushed James off once, twice, before finally announcing loudly that she already had a date for Valentine's Day and would he kindly leave her alone now. James seemed crestfallen but unsurprised, and slipped upstairs without returning to the group. Sirius looked at the stairs for a long moment before turning to Remus and Peter and saying, "I'm off to bed. G'night."

They nodded at him, and he slipped away, up the stairs and to their dorm room. James sat at the foot of his bed, looking at nothing.

"I need to use your cloak, mate," Sirius said, and James jumped at the sound of his voice.

"All right."

"And the Map."

James looked up. "Planning an adventure?" He seemed eager to join, to forget his problems for awhile. "Maybe a drink in ol' Hogsmeade?"

"Nah." Sirius smiled weakly and ruffled James' hair. "I just need to be alone for a little while. I want to be sure I'm not bothered."

His eyes blank again, James nodded and gestured to his trunk.

* * *

><p>Sirius sat in the hall, the Cloak over him, and scanned the Marauders' Map closely. Snape wasn't in the hospital wing anymore, but he didn't seem to be in the Slytherin common room or any of the dorms either. Feeling somewhat impatient, Sirius began pouring over all the hallways, all the classrooms, reading each labeled dot with growing frustration. Finally, he found the little dot labeled "Severus Snape" in the Owlery. Why, this late in the evening, Snape would be there Sirius didn't know. He just knew that if he didn't see Snape soon, didn't explain himself or apologize or let Snape slap his face, the churning in his stomach would kill him. He tapped the Map and whispered, "Mischief managed," tucking it into his pocket and standing carefully. Mindful of the sound of his footsteps, he made his slow and steady way to the Owlery.<p>

* * *

><p>The Owlery was loud, full of rustling wings and excited hoots. Owls swooped in and out of the room with happy regularity, calling their presence out to every other owl they passed. In the center of the room, at one of the writing desks kept there, sat Snape. He wasn't writing anything; in fact he looked quite asleep. Sirius approached him cautiously, pulling off the Cloak and setting it aside.<p>

"Severus."

Snape leapt awake, his eyes wild. He was on his feet before he seemed to recognize Sirius at all. When he finally did, his eyes narrowed and his mouth fell into a grim, flat line.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Sirius rushed, reaching a hand out to Snape. Snape took a step back and looked at his hand as though it were repugnant to him. "Listen, you have to believe that I didn't expect that to happen, honestly, and I shouldn't have let it happen, I should have stopped him, I know-"

"But you didn't." Snape's voice was cold.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, honestly, please let me make it up to you-"

"Stop." Snape laughed heartlessly, shaking his head. "Just…stop. You're embarrassing yourself."

Sirius felt his face go warm. He should have known the only thing that would make Snape feel better was to humiliate him. No matter, he deserved this. If hurting him emotionally was what Snape needed to make up for what had happened to him, then Sirius would take it.

Snape watched him with those cold eyes for a moment. "So you came to apologize."

"You can't know how awful I feel." Sirius and Snape both heard the plea in his voice: _forgive me._

"Why? Why do you feel awful?" That strange look passed across Snape's face once again. "You and your friends have been this way towards me for years. What's different this time?"

So, Snape was going to make Sirius say it. Well, he wouldn't relent just yet. "You know what's different."

"No, I don't," hissed Snape and his voice was like ice. "Tell me."

Sirius gulped and ran a hand through his hair. "I…we…things have happened."'

"So?"

"And, so…so my feelings have changed. About you."

Snape was regarding him like a snake to its prey. "Changed how?" he whispered stonily.

This was it. Speaking the words out loud acknowledged that they even existed, but what else could Sirius do? He had to make Snape see. "I…I care for you, Severus."

There was a drawn out silence, and then Snape began laughing, quietly at first but growing louder by the second. Sirius felt his face burn with a thousand emotions: shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger, frustration.

"You care for me?" Snape gave another resounding hoot of laughter. "You care for me. That _is _a joke."

"It's not."

"It is." Snape stopped laughing, and his face grew cold and angry again. "You care for _James._ That's why you let him break my nose."

"I didn't know-"

"It doesn't matter, Sirius." Snape waved away his protestations with an impatient hand. "Whatever you're feeling towards me, it doesn't matter. Because I _hate _you."

Sirius took a step towards him. "You don't."

"I do. I hate you more than I've hated anyone in my entire life. I hate you more than I hate Potter and that's really saying something," he spat. "Sirius Black, I hate you, I hate you, I _hate _you."

"You don't mean that." Sirius took another step.

"I do."

"You don't." He stepped closer still and touched Snape's chin lightly. "I can see that you don't. It's all over your face."

"_Don't touch me!_" Snape's voice was shrill and he staggered backwards like a drunk man. "Don't you _ever _touch me again or-or I swear I'll kill you!"

"Severus-"

"Get out of here! Get out of here before your friends come 'round and break my nose again!" He said those last words sneeringly, his eyes as wild and angry as Sirius had ever seen them.

"No." Sirius felt oddly defiant. He just needed the truth, that was all. He just had to hear the truth. "No, I won't go until say it: say that you have feelings for me. Tell me the truth." Suddenly angry, Sirius punched the wall. His hand scraped and stung. "Say it and I'll go."

"The only feeling I have towards you is loathing," Snape swore.

Sirius shook his head. "That isn't true. I saw it, that day in the bathroom. That's why you ran away; I saw it and you were scared-"

"Shut up!" Snape drew his wand and screamed, "_Sectumsempra!"_

Sirius leapt out of the way just in time, though one of the Hogwarts owls wasn't as lucky, falling to the ground in a pitiful slump, bloody feathers billowing around it. Sirius looked at the owl, his eyes wide, and looked back up at Snape. "You just tried to-"

Snape raised his wand again but this time Sirius was ready. "_Expelliarmus!"_ Snape's wand went flying.

Growling with rage, Snape dove, and Sirius shouted a banishing charm; the wand went clattering away under a desk. Snape's scrabbling bought Sirius enough time to shout, "_Impedimenta! Incarcerous!_", before scooping up the Cloak and dashing from the room, his heart clattering in his chest. He fled down the winding staircase and burst out into the hall, tossing the Cloak around him and running as fast as he could manage.


	13. Chapter 13

Rumors that Snape had been found in the Owlery, magically bound, by an angry and bemused Argus Filch were met with general applause. Sirius overheard one Hufflepuff girl as she walked to her table: "I'd feel bad for _anyone_ else, really, but Severus is such an arse!" On the way back up to the common room he passed a fellow Gryffindor, who was telling his girlfriend in low tones: "-got what he deserved though, didn't he? I'd love to know who did it-"

Sirius was very glad no one knew. Well, almost no one.

"Don't pity him," said James as Sirius sat down beside him, his face dull.

"What do you mean?"

"Snape." James grinned. "I'm not stupid. You borrowed my Cloak. And the Map. And next thing you know Filch is bellowing in the halls about students in the corridors and Dark magic."

Sirius rubbed his chin. "He used this spell…it was awful. Killed an owl. He aimed it right at me." He looked up at James expectantly. "I had to, didn't I?"

Clapping Sirius on the back, James said, "Course you did."

* * *

><p>Because it was Valentine's and none of them had girlfriends, James suggested they nip out to the pub. Sirius was whole-heartedly in favor, Peter was eager to be with the group, and Remus begrudgingly agreed, and so the foursome very carefully made their way to the tunnel (there was no way all of them would fit under the Cloak together, of course, and so it was left with Peter who acted as sentry as the others escaped through the tunnel). All together again, they slipped out into the village and strode to the Hog's Head, James and Sirius arm in arm and singing an old Quidditch song.<p>

"Not you lot again," grumbled the barman as he entered.

"We'll pay double tonight for all our drinks," claimed James, and to the others' surprised faces he said, "Don't worry, I'm buying."

The barmen was more than sated by his response, bringing drinks out more promptly that Sirius had ever seen him do. Soon enough they were all knackered, even poor Remus who never drank.

"A toast!" cried Remus, lifting his drink…and he promptly fell from his chair in a flurry of giggles. James and Sirius scooped him back up and set him upright.

"Blimey, Remus, you're only three drinks in," James chuckled before turning to Sirius. "I could stand a piss. Come with me?"

Sirius obliged, and in the bathroom they both stood at the urinals and sighed. Zipping up, James cleared his throat. "I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Anything, mate." The firewhiskey had left Sirius feeling quite chipper.

"Well, remember Evangeline?"

Sirius threw James a look. "Yeah…what about her?"

"I was…" James didn't look up as he washed his hands. "I was wondering if you'd do it again."

"Evangeline hates me," Sirius stated blandly, not bothering to add that he wouldn't do it again even if she didn't.

James sighed and dried his hands on his pants. "Not with _her_," he groaned, exasperated. "With…well, with someone else."

"I don't exactly have a queue of girls following me, Prongs. If you want a girl, get her yourself." The conversation was beginning to annoy Sirius and he wanted to get back to silly Remus and his drunken antics.

"I _can't_. Not this one. I can't get her on my own."

Sirius met James' eyes and shook his head vehemently. "No. No way. Not Lily."

"Why?" James caught his shirt and looked at him desperately. "Why not? She's attracted to you, and I know you're attracted to her. I'd bet the only reason you don't make a pass is because I'm mad about her. Well, here's your chance!"

"James, no." Sirius pulled away and made to leave, but James grabbed him. The moment reminded Sirius painfully of Snape.

"Sirius, please. Why won't you do this?"

"Because…" Sirius sighed and answered as honestly as he could. "Because I respect Lily. I like her. She's a great girl. And moreover, Lily isn't Evangeline. Do you think she'd let us manipulate her like that? Hell, half the reason she's so great is because we both know she wouldn't."

It seemed as if his words had sunk in. James stared dejectedly at the dirty tile floor. "My only chance…" he said softly, and Sirius gave a little laugh and put his arm around him.

"Honestly, James, I don't know what she's done to you," he said, leading them from the bathroom into the pub, where Remus was singing the Hogwarts anthem as loudly as he could manage, "but I'm glad she hasn't done it to me."

* * *

><p>March saw Hogwarts thawing out, the snow disappearing so quickly it was hard to believe it had ever been there at all. At the first hint of warmth, the students flooded outdoors, and after classes the halls were completely abandoned. The boys all enjoyed a Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw game, and chatted merrily about the game they were all most excited about: next months' match with Gryffindor and Slytherin.<p>

"You have to slay them," Remus said, wildly excited. His spirits were high; he'd won ten Sickles from James by betting on Hufflepuff.

James mussed his hair. "Well, naturally."

To everyone's surprise, Lily's voice chimed in beside them, "No, really, you must. If you don't we won't get the house cup."

"Lily!" Sirius turned to her and smiled widely. "You must be getting excellent marks in Transfiguration."

"…What do you mean?" She furrowed her brow.

"Well, that's advanced magic you've done, turning your robes to mirrors."

Remus howled with laughter, but Lily merely blinked at him until he leaned in and whispered, "I can see myself in them. Get it?"

"Oh!" She pulled away from him, her cheeks pink, but she was laughing. "You really are a dog, Sirius." She gave him a little slap on the wrist and flounced away, shooting him back one beaming smile as she went.

James moaned. "It's so easy for you!"

"Because I'm treating her like a person and not a delicate, mythical creature," Sirius laughed.

Spluttering, James looked to Remus for support, but Remus appeared to be contemplating something and so they left him alone.

* * *

><p>"It's crazy, but it just might work." Sirius rubbed his chin. He and Remus were in their dorm room, pretending to look for Lupin's "favorite pair of socks" that he insisted he wanted for the full moon, and likewise insisted Sirius had borrowed. James had stayed in the common room, practicing his chess skills against Peter (who was terrible and served as more of a morale boost than anything else).<p>

"She's always liked you, Sirius." Remus pulled a pair of socks from his trunk and mussed them carefully, laying them on his bed. "If you befriended her…"

"Sure, I can see how it would bring them together." Stretched out on his bed, Sirius thought before adding, "But I'm not sure that she won't see right through to the real reason I'm always bringing her around."

"Oh, she will," said Remus. He had begun clipping his fingernails fastidiously. "But it hardly matters. She likes you well enough to put up with James, if she must."

* * *

><p>Remus turned out to be entirely right. Sirius began doing little things, sitting next to Lily at meals, asking her to look over his homework, or inviting her to a game of chess- and always she said yes, despite the fact that James hovered around them like a mute.<p>

One day, as the five of them stretched out on the lawn, Lily said to James, "You've got something in your hair," and plucked a dandelion tuft from just above his ear.

"Oh, thank you," said James, and from that moment on he could speak to her with only minor difficultly. They all became inseparable, and Sirius soon found he didn't need to invent reasons to spend time with her anymore; not only did she usually come around on her own, but Sirius honestly enjoyed her company. One afternoon, as Lily and James played chess (James was losing miserably, but he hardly seemed to mind) Sirius found his mind turning to Snape. Whatever bond had grown between them seemed to be broken irreparably, and Snape seemed to prefer keeping to himself, flitting away if he caught sight of Sirius in the halls. Sirius hoped that Snape would eventually forgive himself for feeling something, but it didn't seem likely. Snape wasn't to forgive himself easily.

"Hello? Sirius?"

Sirius glanced up at his friends, who were all smirking at him.

"Dreaming of me?" said Lily, and Sirius simply laughed and said, "Always."

It was in that moment that he realized how normal things seemed. James was happy, and somehow that made Sirius happy too. He still loved James more than James would ever know, but now he understood that love sometimes meant sacrifice. James had tried to smother Lily with his love, and Snape had denied the concept that love existed in him at all. But Sirius could love James in just the way James needed, a perfect love that would always be there, no longer paining him but bringing both boys comfort and happiness. He smiled, and joined his friends in conversation. For a time, life was good.

THE END


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